Monday, August 8, 2016

Conquering the Mountain

In case you are wondering how I'm really doing. [I started this post on a rough day, but decided to put it aside for awhile so the emotions of the day didn't take over the post.]

An early morning "see you later"
Y'all let me tell you. Military life is not for the faint of heart. This isn't the first time Gabe has left, and yeah we spent around half of our first year apart. BUT this was different. Oh so different. Deployment is no joke. There is a given end date, but from what I've heard there is a small chance that will stay the date. I am not a fan. My planner mentality has been shaken over and over and over again in the last year. But I'm getting better at rolling with the punches. OH, by the way we just celebrated our ONE YEAR anniversary...and Gabe was on the other side of the world. I know we aren't the first, nor the last couple to do that, but it sucked.

Kimberly went to dinner with me to celebrate our 1st anniversary!
One thing the Navy has given us that has been really sweet is some good friendships. Not many, yet, but quality ones. I wouldn't be surviving this thing without them. Nala even has a best dog friend who she plays will ALL the time!

Headed to the dog park!!

ALWAYS playing!

So this mountain I finally feel like I'm conquering...its been rough. Crying has become way more norm than I'm used to...and a lot of times it's over ridiculous things. Like a 90 year old getting the golden buzzer on America's Got Talent, or Nala not letting me put her harness on. Ridiculous. The first few days I counted it as a win to get out of my house to get food. Then I started running normal errands, however the house became a MESS. Like the sink full of dishes, things everywhere, and clothes not in the hamper. I only worked 2 days after Gabe left so then I had no commitments. So I lost track of days and spent alomst every evening on the couch. It was rough.

BUT things have changed.

I wouldn't say I'm good (like normal good), but I'm getting there. I try to leave my house to have some kind of interaction at least once a day. Nala and I have gotten more active...Kimberly and I are training for a Nala is training for a 5k. HA! The house is ALMOST clean. Currently there are dishes in the sink...but Gabe who normally cleans after I cook isn't here. At least I remember to take out the trash! I'm loving volunteering at Rethreaded (if you havent checked them out, do it NOW! ...well after you finish reading this... AND I'm about to start quilting. But like I said, it's been rough, including getting my supplies to quilt. Remember how I said crying has become part of the norm. Well, this is the first time I've quilted without my mom around to help out when needed. The thread on my machine KEEPS breaking, AND after I had cut some fabric I realized my ruler was crooked! Are you kidding?? Bring on the tears. So I've been "about to start quilting" like all summer. But really, nothing has been done. Maybe one day.

A peek into Rethreaded!
I'm hopeful that in this next month there will be even more improvement! I'm not sure I'll ever feel normal, I mean I wouldn't really think its possible since my best friend is not here. But we shall see. I'm visiting Texas for a little bit and that will be a much needed break from here. I love living in Jacksonville, but being at our place, by myself is hard. So I am looking forward to going to Texas to visit with family and friends! After my trip to Texas, school will be back in session, so that means I can start subbing again! YAY! I am thinking and hoping that once I start working, time will go faster and it will take a lot of focus and energy. Which will be oh so good.

Let me take this moment to say, I am incredibly proud of Gabe, and the crew aboard the ship. And Gabe and I feel like this is where God has us for this season of life. So we are doing our best to be positive, and really looking at this as another part of this adventure we are on as husband and wife. Gabe is working hard to be successful, and while things are hard for him too, I mean he is the one deployed, he is better at being positive than I am. He leads us well and I know that if he can lead well from the other side of the world, I know for a fact he can lead well at home.

So there is a pretty good glimpse into life currently. Seeing as I haven't been blogging often, hopefully they next one will be more joy filled! But this is where we are, its rough, but we are seeking out the positive and doing our best to enjoy the adventure set before us!